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Veteran Mom getting scammed

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:08 am
by Haures
Hey so my mom is a Veteran with PTSD, I take care of her 24/7. She met a guy named Steve Mack from Italy on facebook back in August of last year. At first, i was happy for her. Then I notice how his facebook has no friends just my mom and it was made the same day they started talking. I told her how I felt about him and his page but she brushed it off. Since then He has taken 4k from her saying he's using it to fly here, the first time she gave her card info to him he spent 2.2k on an online apple store and then she went to a western union to send him 1.8k 2 days ago. No matter what I say she says she is in love and he is real also it wasn't him that took the 2.2k. I showed her proof that someone else with those pictures has a facebook with a lot of friends and a wife but said that is him and hid his true name because he is rich. So yea I need advice we may lose our apartment because of this. I'm still waiting to get paid for being my mom's home caregiver maybe another month or 2 so we live month to month from her checks. I started working but I had to leave work a couple of times because she has had panic attacks and i may be let go soon. I tried Message the person who was really the person in the pictures but he blocked me because he didn't understand English.

If you guys want me to post info about him I will. I also took the western union receipt and she sent it to someone in Maryland. So not even that gave him away. So any advice would be amazing!

Re: Veteran Mom getting scammed

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:27 pm
by Igulinka
Welcome to RS. We are very sorry for the scam. Please know we understand you frustration. We certainly hope for the best for your mom.

When people look for anyone online or in real time, they are seeking something that is lacking in their lives: attention, inclusion, love. They are looking for someone to fulfill the void and emptiness in their lives. Your mom was missing something in their life that no one was fulfilling.

It is very hard to see that your parent live under control of her mind by the scammers. The scammers groom her and program to believe in him/them ( they work in groups). The scammer is the one who manipulate your mom to distance the family because you were intervening in the scammers scam. That's why she won't listen to you. The only way the scammer could get complete control of your parent's mind and money was to convince your parent that the family did not want to see your parent happy, in love and the family was jealous, envious because your parent was happy and in love. That is played into the brainwashing and mind control over the romance scam victim.

Your mom goes through the emotional, mental and psychological effects that brainwashing has in the victim and their family. She needs you more than ever to bring her back to the reality. You need to keep palling the evidence, try hard to get her off computer, even notify WU about scam and make them stop your mom from making payments. She should put alert to the three credit bureaus as scammers have her info and for sure didn't lose it but may abuse in the future. Please tell her that money which scammers get from victims go to found: Boko Haram, ISIS, human and drug trafficking. By buying them computers and phone we not only help them to bring to them more victims but also spread the terrorist networks.

You may find more helpful info here: ... 22&t=75481

Please kindly post scammers stolen pictures, email addresses, money request info. Good luck to you both!

Re: Veteran Mom getting scammed

Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2017 1:33 pm
by Wingman182
Hello Haures and welcome to R.S.
I am deeply sorry that your mother is now caught up within the romance scammers power and influence over her. And with it being about six months into this contact with her “special someone” I think I can safely say from my own experience that this hook is well and truly set. And given your mothers situation she was already vulnerable to begin with. You are going to have a rough time trying to get through to her, but don't get discouraged. As Igulinka said keep purring on the evidence as you find it. Sooner or later it will start to sink in.
Many victims go through an internal battle between their brains and their hearts during a scam. God knows I sure did. And even though in the beginning the heart wins this battle the brain is still in there speaking it's mind. It's just currently being overridden by the heart for the moment. So just hold in there for your mothers sake. This is going to be extremely hard on you, but please try to stay strong.

As for you job situation I may have an answer for you that may help.
If you live in America, and it sounds like you do. You could try and file an F.M.L.A. Which stands for the Federal Medical Leave Act. You would do this through your human resources department manager.
If you can show documentation that you are the sole carer for your mother, and again it sounds like that is the case. This could be a very possible option for you, but you will have to take this up with your H.R. first to find out for sure.
In short the F.M.L.A. Would entitle you to see to your mothers needs away from work without it being counted against you in any way. This time away from work is unpaid, but your job is protected. And F.M.L.A. Is completely separate from any vacation you may have if any. Though this may depend on your employers policies on the matter.

Bellow I have added a quote from my H.R. Manager when I had asked the question about vacation v/s F.M.L.A. When I had to file one when my wife had a triple bypass surgery and needed me home for a time after coming home. ( Yes she is doing well since then )
Our policy states that while you are on FMLA or STD after 60 days you must then exhaust any paid leave you were entitled to.  After you exhaust your leaves your FMLA or STD will continue.
I hope this will be something you can explore to at least ease the stress of your job becoming threatened because of your mothers need. And I wish you luck moving forward with your mother. Just keep in mind that she truly thinks she has found something wonderful to fill her life. And when the truth finally sinks in she is in for a very hard crash afterwards.
My thoughts and prayers will be with you.

Re: Veteran Mom getting scammed

Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2017 10:09 pm
by JulieNP
Hi - this is all great information for you but the caveat to FMLA is you have to be in your position for a year to qualify which is where most people find the problem - you are not protected until that 1 year mark. I have had several patients we have tried to file FMLA for and were rejected because of the limited time on the job. I believe this is a federal mandate so not sure it is a state by state issue.

Can you look into some adult day care opportunities in your community - sometimes local community centers have day care facilities for adults where lunch is served, there are usually activities, etc. Some have a small fee for lunch but it sounds like it might be a small price to pay to not lose your job until your other arrangements are implemented.

Best of luck to you we have all lived this nightmare.


Re: Veteran Mom getting scammed

Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2017 1:06 pm
by Wingman182
Thanks for the added information Julie. I didn't know about the one year stipulation for the FMLA, but after reading it. It makes sense.
I was just trying to help Haures out by pointing out this possible option. But at the same time the last thing I would ever want to do is give out false hopes, or bad information.
Again Julie thank you for the correction.
And to Haures my deepest apologies.

Bad Wingman ,,,,, Bad !!! :spank:

Re: Veteran Mom getting scammed

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 10:38 pm
by JulieNP
Wingman - no apology necessary that's why this website is great - we all work together to bring information to those reeling from the scam!