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Romance Scam

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Is it safe for me to scam bait my romance scammer?

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LisaT
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Is it safe for me to scam bait my romance scammer?

Postby LisaT » Tue Sep 11, 2018 6:11 am

Hello, after 3 weeks of daily texting in the month of August 2018, my romance scammer asked me for $15K USD to help him out of a business related bind, and that’s when my guard went up and I immediately accused him of being a romance scammer, which he denies.

The interesting thing is that after I said NO and expressed my upset towards him, he quickly apologized for asking me for help, told me that he’s sorry for worrying and bothering me, and said that he will figure out his issue/problem himself.

Also, after seeing my reaction, he said that he doesn’t want my money or help, even if I offered to help him. I then decided to scam bait him on several occasions, including offering to get a loan for him, plus I told him that I have a large bill to collect from an ex-client, which would give me a chunk of cash, but he has not once followed up with any of my baits, expressed interest, or asked me for money again.

Another thing is, I've vented my anger and upset at him for deceiving me and he has consistently responded by saying he's not a romance scammer, and that he doesn’t blame me for feeling suspicious, that he understands why I feel the way I do, and that it’s all his fault.

IOW, even when I'm upset with him and accusing him of being a romance scammer, although he said he doesn't like me insulting him, he has been calm, kind, patient, and understanding on the most part.

This has been really hard for me, I’m still feel traumatized, because I really liked this guy and enjoyed the friendship we were developing, and he keeps insisting he’s not a romance scammer, but I am 99% sure he is.

I've been having a very hard time stop thinking about him and recovering from the betrayal and shock, as it's been only a couple of days since our chats have subsided, and so this relationship has taken up about 1 month of my time.

Finding this web site has been a lifesaver, I am so happy I found this site when I did, as I've been feeling very alone with this.

I am too embarrassed, ashamed, and humiliated to tell anybody what has happened, especially after telling at least 12 people (friends, family, colleagues) that I had possibly found my dream man, only to be romance scammed.

I will not be able to tell the truth to anybody, except with sharing what happened to me on this forum.

So, I'm posting here today because I would like to find out if what I’ve described above is common romance scammer behavior, or am I dealing with a different kind of romance scammer, one who has a conscience and a heart, and who is kinder than the rest?

I don't know if this guy is from Nigeria or Russia, or from somewhere else, and I wasn't able to pinpoint his accent, as we've only had a very brief chat once.

Also, I am wondering if it is safe for me to keep chatting with him, but this time as a scam baiter, to waste his time from scamming other women?

Or, is it better for me to just forget about him and move on? Thanks in advance for any replies.

Is it safe for me to scam bait my romance scammer?

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minerva
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Re: Is it safe for me to scam bait my romance scammer?

Postby minerva » Tue Sep 11, 2018 9:14 am

Welcome to RS :) so sorry bout it. IMO he is100% scammer. Never meetin person than asking $$$ is 100% scammer. You can post all detail bout him here such as his email id, phone number, copy chat or email bout money request so we can help you more reaseach on him who knew his pics already posted here. More detail you posted more Ladies will be safe.
to help you how to post and other read the FAQ viewtopic.php?f=74&t=83893

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Re: Is it safe for me to scam bait my romance scammer?

Postby Pinky » Tue Sep 11, 2018 9:48 am

Drop it. He has nothing to lose by continuing to romance you. He's working others in his pipeline that he believes will eventually pay money. You are a puzzle he can keep piecing together until he gets other useful information from. Or there's always the hope you'll fall deeper in love and he can use you in money laundering, credit card fraud or illicit package forwarding. Quit playing with fire.

Post his pictures and information here to warn others and let others here prove to you once and for all that you're involved in a scam. Eliminate your 1% doubt.
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.

Julia2016
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Re: Is it safe for me to scam bait my romance scammer?

Postby Julia2016 » Tue Sep 11, 2018 9:59 am

Hi LisaT,
There is no such thing in the entire universe like “a different kind of romance scammer, one who has a conscience and a heart, and who is kinder than the rest”. All of them are emotionally empty and deprived of any feelings which normal people call human. They are masters in manipulation whose life is only about lying and cheating on others. It is all about money. Always. Sending, receiving (from other victims as money mules), etc. His nice words do not change the fact that he is a scammer. You need to understand that this “kind and patient” person does not exist – he is only your fantasy which the scammer successfully created in your mind. Don't be fooled. Watch actions not words …. anyone can say that they care, right?
No, it is NOT safe for you to keep chatting with him since it is obvious that you are emotionally attached to him. In fact, it could be dangerous. They are such perfect manipulators that you will not even notice when you start doing things against yourself and .. against the law. If you want to protect others, post all info about him.
Block the scum and .... take care.

LisaT
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Re: Is it safe for me to scam bait my romance scammer?

Postby LisaT » Tue Sep 11, 2018 10:28 am

Hi, thank you for the responses. So, am I correct in concluding that a RS can also be very apologetic and back off from asking for money and not taking any bait, and that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not guilty as charged?

Because I've read many posts that say they usually will get mad and threatening if you call them out and refuse to give them any money, and yet mine hasn't gotten that way with me, instead he tells me he understands why I feel suspicious and is very validating.

I am scared to post more info about him, because I foolishly trusted him and shared with him my business website, real name, age, birthdate, location, etc.

Plus, he has photos of me and my daughter and a few videos of me. None are sexually explicit, but I am scared he will use me in his scams, pose as me, as I am considered an attractive woman.

Also, I don’t want him to possibly find my post here and do something to harm me and my business. Should I be concerned about this?

I feel so stupid. I am usually very smart, I wasn't even looking to date anyone, was too busy running my business, and yet this guy managed to get my attention, under my skin, and quickly gain my trust.

The lucky thing is that he blew his cover relatively early on, within 3 weeks, and I'm so glad that he didn’t drag this on and on for months and months, or years, before he asked me for money.

It's only been 2 days of no contact, so yes, I am still emotionally attached, but less and less so every day.
Last edited by LisaT on Tue Sep 11, 2018 10:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

LisaT
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Re: Is it safe for me to scam bait my romance scammer?

Postby LisaT » Tue Sep 11, 2018 10:43 am

Another thing is, I thought it was harmless to text with him because on our very 1st day of texting, he told me he will be returning to the city and country I am currently living in, and within 2 to 3 weeks time ...

And so I thought since I will be meeting him and seeing him in person relatively soon, I didn't mention or request talking on the phone or video chatting, it didn't really cross my mind, until he asked me for money.

He had apparently sent me his 1st message while he was still in the country I'm currently living in, said he was working on a project here, but then a couple of days later he had left for the U.K. where he said he's from.

He said he was planning to make his big move to the country I'm currently living in, to start his business over here, something he had been planning for 5 years, and now he finally has the funds to do so, but that he had to go back to his home country first to get necessary business documents from his lawyer and to tie things up, such as selling his cars, visit his mom, etc.

And he knew so many details of how to start and run a business in the country I'm currently living in, and gave me so many details that very few entrepreneurs in the country I'm currently living in knows about, which I only know about because a local friend here told me about it, so he was incredibly convincing and credible with his business knowledge.

And since I was so busy running my business, texting was actually convenient for me, but now I know better, because I should have insisted on a video chat early on or say call me when you're back in the country and leave it at that. Had I done that, I wouldn't have gotten caught into his web, and now feeling betrayed and like a total fool and idiot right now.

Everything started getting really strange right before he was supposed to return to the country I'm currently living in, which would be around the time we would be meeting up in person, with one unbelievable mishap after another pertaining to his business.

Ladies, if a man says he's in your country, but leaving a few days later, and will return in a few weeks, don't get caught up with texting with him in the meanwhile. Tell him to contact you again when he's back and save yourself the time and the grief, and then do not let his sweet talking talk you out of it. I wish I had known better and said that to him.

Another thing that confuses me and why I am 99% sure he's a RS (rather than 100%), is that I read that RS will be evasive with questions you ask him, but mine was very good at answering all of my questions, promptly and quickly, without a beat (not evasive), with lots of details, he was very positive, talked about Law of Attraction and how what goes around comes around, surrounding ourselves with only positive people, had a great sense of humor, gave me great business advice, etc.

And I am sure I was dealing with just one RS working alone, because his texts were always in the same style and we had a running joke that we shared from start to finish, so that was consistent throughout. I would have probably have caught on a lot sooner if I was dealing with several RS posing as one.

I don't understand why I even responded to his message in the first place, when I usually don't respond to messages like the one he initially sent me, and it's been hard not to feel like the Universe is playing a prank or cruel joke on me ... )-:

How did he know so much about doing business in the country I'm currently living in, if he's not from the same country? This was such a crucial nugget for me that made me believe in him, gave him credibility, and my head has been like spinning wheels wanting to know how he knew so much and wanting to get answers.

Julia2016
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Re: Is it safe for me to scam bait my romance scammer?

Postby Julia2016 » Tue Sep 11, 2018 11:52 am

It’s their job to know all such details because only then they can be so convincing – they do it for a living! Mine was also very quick in finding excuses and replying to my questions … all of them are very quick in it. It is their “job”. There is always a problem for them to visit you: at the airport, car accident, custody, robbery, customs, Martian invasion …. The reality is that they sit all day long in an internet café somewhere in West Africa, work in shifts, use transcripts, so victims don’t even realize that they chat with different individuals.
Don’t feel like a “total fool and idiot” because you are not. It was just a bad choice that you replied. You cannot blame yourself for being a human, c’mon.

LisaT
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Re: Is it safe for me to scam bait my romance scammer?

Postby LisaT » Tue Sep 11, 2018 12:09 pm

They certainly are very good at what they do! Very high degree of brainwashing and manipulation.

I am university educated, run my own business, very selective with my friends and who I hang out with, and yet this RS still managed to capture my time and attention, even during one of the busiest times of my life.

Are they only from West Africa and Nigeria? Cause the brief 2 minutes phone chat I had with my RS before conveniently the internet connection was really bad and cut our conversation short, his accent sounded more Indian to me. But then again, I'm not really in the know of what all these different accents sound like.

He had called me for the very 1st time, a surprise phone call that lasted about 2 minutes, to tell me he is sorry for hurting me.

LisaT
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Re: Is it safe for me to scam bait my romance scammer?

Postby LisaT » Tue Sep 11, 2018 12:22 pm

Also, should I be worried about the personal and business information that I've foolishly shared with him? I don't want to live in fear that my business will be harmed, and I can't exactly change my business name and web site.

I am worried, too, that he will use my photos and videos and steal my identity for scamming other people. )-: Is that a common occurrence?

LisaT
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Re: Is it safe for me to scam bait my romance scammer?

Postby LisaT » Tue Sep 11, 2018 12:23 pm

I am glad he asked me for money and blew his cover when he did, as there is NO WAY I would send anybody money sight unseen, not even long time friends has ever asked me for money, so what is he thinking?

Also, what a turn off for a man to be asking a woman for money! I didn't feel sorry for him when he said he needed help and was in a bind, I actually felt turned off by him.

I told him the story he is telling me is so outrageously unbelievable, does he really think I'm that gullible and stupid, and he said he doesn't blame me, that he understands why I find the situation suspicious.

And he also said at another time that I over-reacted and should be giving him the benefit of the doubt. I admit that I did feel quite guilty and wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but now I'm 99% sure he is a RS.

What an eye opener this experience has been! It does make it all that much harder for me to trust men, which is the last thing I need, as I would like to eventually be able to settle down with Mr. Right.

I had no idea that Romance Scamming even existed, so this has been a huge shock and a big lesson learned.

Now I want to learn more about scam baiting. What is the URL or website for the baiting forum? Does anybody know?

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