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HELP: My grandma is being scammed.

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CappyTally
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HELP: My grandma is being scammed.

Postby CappyTally » Thu Nov 22, 2018 5:02 am

I'm here because I need help and don't know what to do. Yes, I'm a grown man who lives with his grandmother, but it's a good thing I do because she's very naive and even irresponsible at times. She's 63 years old and spent many years married to an extremely hateful and abusive person (who died in 2012). I know she's lonely and wants a real romantic relationship, but I'm convinced that she's being scammed.

Last year I found out that she had been talking with a guy named Smith who claimed to be from Georgia but was doing contracting work in Nigeria. Which...set off some red flags. I was more suspicious when we talked briefly on the phone, and he did NOT sound like a guy from Georgia.

I did some digging on this very site and soon became convinced that we were dealing with a scammer. I talked to her, told her he was scamming her, and she seemed convinced. And that was that...

...until a couple months ago. She came to me out of the blue and admitted that not only did she never stop talking to "Smith" but that he was going to be coming here to visit, that he'd been here before, oh and he's actually not from Georgia and his name isn't Smith and it turns out he totally did catfish her, but then pulled the "I actually did fall in love with you" shtick. And she knew this the entire time. And why did she lie about all this? Because she was worried that I was a racist and would hate him for being black. Which...if you knew me, you'd know was absolutely ridiculous. I wasn't just hurt, I was horrified.

We had a bad argument because she refused to listen to anything I had to say. This really hurt me because my grandma and I have been very close, and she's so clearly taking the word of a scammer over mine, to the point where she's even lied to me and kept secrets from me on the basis that she thought I was some kind of racist monster.

I just had another argument with her because she's actually been planning on flying out to Nigeria to meet him! She thinks that if she goes there and meets him, it'll somehow make it easier for him to travel here.

I can't get it through her head that this guy has already scammed her once before and that he fits the profile of a scammer to a T.

Is there anything I can do? Any way I could convince her, or could investigate him and come up with some proof that he's not genuine? I was able to talk her out of flying to Nigeria for now, but I don't know for sure that I can trust her. Which...really hurts. It's one thing to know that she's being scammed, but for her to lie to me and keep secrets from me and not trust my judgement...I can't just let it go. I can't let her keep putting her faith into this guy until he inevitably breaks her heart on his own.

HELP: My grandma is being scammed.

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Re: HELP: My grandma is being scammed.

Postby minerva » Thu Nov 22, 2018 1:26 pm

So sorry about it ? and it not safe to her flying to Nigeria :( to meet him.
did you have all infoabout him such as his email id, pics, etc so we can help you to get a proof that he is scammer ?
to help you how to post and other read the FAQ viewtopic.php?f=74&t=83893

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Re: HELP: My grandma is being scammed.

Postby CappyTally » Thu Nov 22, 2018 5:09 pm

I was able to talk her out of flying to Nigeria, but she still insists on talking with him.

I'm going to try to get as much info as I can. If I ask about it now, she'll be too suspicious and won't give me anything. I know he goes by the alleged name of Raj, short for Siraj I think, and he has an associate whose name is something like Meshak? Again, I'll try to find as much as I can.

I found the IP tracker thing, and if I can get an email from him somehow, then I can try to get his IP.

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Re: HELP: My grandma is being scammed.

Postby Igulinka » Fri Nov 23, 2018 1:47 am

Welcome to RS.
First of all please do NOT worry that your grandmother will travel to Nigeria. To my best knowledge she won't be able to board the plane and if she would for example get there somehow she would be transported to embassy or back on nearest plane home.
You can't simply travel to Nigeria visit the lover. See more info on embassy site:

ENTRY/EXIT REQUIREMENTS: 
A passport and visa are required.  The visa must be obtained in advance.  Visas cannot be obtained aboard planes or at the airport.  Promises of entry into Nigeria without a visa are credible indicators of fraudulent commercial schemes in which the perpetrators seek to exploit the foreign traveler's illegal presence in Nigeria through threats of extortion or bodily harm.  U.S. citizens cannot legally depart Nigeria unless they can prove, by presenting their entry visas, that they entered Nigeria legally.  Entry information may be obtained at the Embassy of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, 3519 International Court, NW, Washington, D.C., 20008, telephone (202) 822-1500, or at the Nigerian Consulate General in New York, telephone (212) 808-0301.  Overseas, inquiries may be made at the nearest Nigerian embassy or consulate.
This information is current as of today

What happens to your grandmother it starts with loneliness. The person then goes on the internet seeking a relationship. Someone with a beautiful picture comes along and uses hypnoses and psychological profiling to brainwash them into believing they are madly in love. Sometimes this happens quickly and sometimes it is drug out over a long period of time. The scammer can usually tell when he has full control of the victim, and that is when the scam begins. At this time into the scam, the scammer has all of the control and the victim has none left.

If someone is working on the victim to try to break them away from that scammer it is like playing with a double edge sword. You can tell the victim the things they need to know to break that bond but it doesn't sink in right away. The victim will take what you have given them and run straight to the scammer and tell him all about it. The scammer will then tell the victim they can no longer listen to the person telling them these things and they will have a believable story to cover what the victim has told them they found out.

However, after while, when you keep on piling on the evidence, it starts to seep into the victims cognitive brain and they do start to listen, even if they don't allow you to be aware of it. They will start second guessing themselves and will finally make the break.

It takes time and patience and it can be frustrating as all get out. Just know that right now, your mother is not your mother as you have known and loved all of your life, she is the scammers captive victim and until that spell can be broken into, she will remain his captive victim.

Be patient and loving with her and we will try to work with you to break that spell. How much of her story can you tell us?

Has she received an packages to forward on? has she cashed any checks? has she opened any bank accounts for them? or given them the details of her own?

This is very important for you to find out as each of those is against the law and can land her in prison.
Confronting the scammer is WRONG!!! DON'T enlighten criminals with your wisdom. REPORT & BLOCK.
PHOTO VICTIM - "Do not confront the owner of the pictures, as they are victims themselves! You will only serve to further the terror and harm !" Silence Is Golden!!! I speak Polish.

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Re: HELP: My grandma is being scammed.

Postby CappyTally » Fri Nov 23, 2018 2:54 am

I don't know yet if she's done anything like that, but I'll try to find out. What I did manage to do was get some info.

His (alleged) name is Suraj Musa (or perhaps Musa Suraj). His alleged address is 10 warrake road, Auchi, Edo state in Nigera. The email address she contacts him with is lloydwill89@gmail.com. The IP address I was able to get is 209.85.220.41 although when I tried to check it, it said that the IP was for Google or something.

My grandma had a very abusive husband for a long time, most of her life. He mellowed out as he got older, but some time in the early 2000s when he applied for his retirement, he did something with the form after they filled it out together so that she would be left nothing of his retirement when he died. Needless to say it's put us in a tight spot, as he died in 2012.

She is utterly convinced that Raj loves her and that he will eventually come to the US. I was able to talk her out of going to Nigeria, but she was in the process of obtaining the necessary documentation. I have no idea if she would have been able to or how far along she was, but she was planning on going on this trip after Christmas.

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Re: HELP: My grandma is being scammed.

Postby Igulinka » Fri Nov 23, 2018 3:15 am

This guy is most likely in his 20-ties. He tries very hard to make her fall for him crazy as he needs to ask for money or even look for a green card. I am sorry that you need to go through it with her. Please search for her articles about romance scammers and show her has foolish she is to trust the scammers.

Please do NOT worry about her traveling anywhere. The last person which was able to board the plane was turned back home by the security enforcement at the airport in Lagos in 2008. Since there no one was able to go and meet their online relationship. She wouldn't be able to obtain visa without marriage promise, which is equil with signing a Affidavit of support which means 10 years of responsibility for the person brought to US. She would also have to have a high income in order to support this person and pay his medical bills.

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Re: HELP: My grandma is being scammed.

Postby CappyTally » Fri Nov 23, 2018 3:30 am

I'm thankful for the reassurance about her travelling. It makes me feel better, truly. Now I'm worried about her being implicated in any illegal activity. She seems to trust his judgement on this, because HE has told her so much about scammers and how they work that she takes his word on it. So I'm not sure she would know if she was doing anything illegal.

What if she sent him something, like a cell phone? I could even imagine her putting him on our plan. I've seen articles mentioning Western Union money transactions too. Could that get her in any trouble? I just need to understand what to look for here.

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Re: HELP: My grandma is being scammed.

Postby Igulinka » Fri Nov 23, 2018 3:41 am

As long as she sends her own money or gifts she won't be in trouble but also she won't get any help to get it back.
Western Union has a terms and conditions in each they say that SENDER is only allowed to transfer money to the person which sender know in person and doesn't support fraud or terrorism. The sender needs to agree to it before WU will make a transfer. So, by sending money to NG she actually committing fraud since she falsely agreed in first to their terms.
If she: opens accounts and let use it to others. , transfer money, receive and reship goods - it's punishable by prison time if person is caught and convicted of offence. Victim's money go straight to Boko Haram or human and drug trafficking and if someone supports it knowingly or unknowingly may end up in prison as accomplice.

If she sends a cell phone she can only help to scam more people. She is NEVER exclusive to the scammer. He has hundreds ladies like her and needs new fast cell phone.

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Re: HELP: My grandma is being scammed.

Postby Igulinka » Fri Nov 23, 2018 4:28 am

SAFETY AND SECURITY: 
The Department of State continues to warn U.S. citizens of the dangers of travel to Nigeria. 
For the latest security information, Americans traveling abroad should regularly monitor the Department's Internet web site where the current Travel Warnings and Public Announcements, including the Worldwide Caution Public Announcement, can be found.
Up-to-date information on safety and security can also be obtained by calling 1-888-407-4747 toll free in the U.S. and Canada, or for callers outside the U.S. and Canada, by calling a regular toll-line at 1-202-501-4444.  These numbers are available from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday through Friday (except U.S. federal holidays).
The Department of State urges American citizens to take responsibility for their own personal security while traveling overseas.  For general information about appropriate measures travelers can take to protect themselves in an overseas environment, see the Department of State’s pamphlet A Safe Trip Abroad.
CRIME:  Visitors and resident Americans have experienced armed mugging, assault, burglary, kidnapping and extortion, often involving violence.  Carjacking, roadblock robberies, and armed break-ins are common in many parts of Nigeria. Visitors to Nigeria, including a number of American citizens, have been victims of armed robbery on the road from Murtala Mohammed International Airport during both daylight and nighttime hours. Law enforcement authorities usually respond to crimes slowly and provide little or no investigative support to victims. U.S. citizens have experienced harassment and shakedowns at checkpoints and during encounters with Nigerian officials.
Upon arrival in Nigeria, U.S. citizens are urged to register at the U.S. Embassy in Abuja or the U.S. Consulate General in Lagos (see Registration/Embassy Location section below), where they may obtain current safety information and advice on minimizing risks.  
Nigerian-operated scams are infamous for their cleverness and ingenuity.  These scams target foreigners worldwide posing risks of both financial loss and personal danger to their victims. Scams are often initiated through Internet postings, unsolicited emails, faxes, and letters, as well as by use of credit cards and Internet cafes in Nigeria.  No one should provide personal or financial information to unknown parties or via Nigerian telephone lines.  Expanding bilateral law enforcement cooperation, which has resulted in numerous raids on commercial fraud premises, has reduced the overall level of overt fraud activity, but new types of sophisticated scams are introduced daily.
American citizens are very frequently the victims of Nigerian con men/women offering companionship through Internet dating websites.  These con men/women almost always pose as American citizens visiting or living in Nigeria who unexpectedly experience a medical, legal, financial or other type of “emergency” that requires the immediate financial assistance of the American citizen in the United States.  In these cases, we strongly urge the American citizen in the United States to be very cautious about sending money to this person or any unknown person purportedly acting on his/her behalf, or traveling to Nigeria to meet someone they have only known via the Internet and have never actually met in person.  Other common scams involve a promise of an inheritance windfall, a promise of work contracts in Nigeria, or overpayment for goods purchased online.
Commercial scams or stings that targets foreigners, including many U.S. citizens, continue to be a problem.  Such scams may involve U.S. citizens in illegal activity, resulting in arrest, extortion or bodily harm.  The scams generally involve phony offers of either outright money transfers or lucrative sales, or contracts with promises of large commissions or up-front payments.  Alleged deals frequently invoke the authority of one or more ministries or offices of the Nigerian government and may cite, by name, the involvement of a Nigerian government official.  In some scams, government stationery, seals, and offices are used.  The ability of U.S. consuls to extricate U.S. citizens from unlawful business deals and their consequences is extremely limited.  Since the mid-1990s, several U.S. citizens have been arrested by police officials and held for varying periods on charges of involvement in illegal business scams.  Nigerian police do not always inform the U.S. Embassy or Consulate of a U.S. citizen in distress.  The U.S. Department of Commerce has issued advisories to the U.S. business community on doing business in Nigeria.  To check on a business’s legitimacy while in the United States, contact the Nigeria Desk Officer at the International Trade Administration, Room 3317, Dept. of Commerce, Washington, DC 20230.  (Tel: 1-800-USA-TRADE or 202-482-5149, fax: 202-482-5198.)  If you are abroad, contact the nearest U.S. Embassy or Consulate.
INFORMATION FOR VICTIMS OF CRIME:  The loss or theft abroad of a U.S. passport should be reported immediately to the local police and the nearest U.S. Embassy or Consulate.  If you are the victim of a crime while overseas, in addition to reporting to local police, please contact the nearest U.S. Embassy or Consulate for assistance.  The Embassy/Consulate staff can, for example, assist you to find appropriate medical care, contact family members or friends and explain how funds could be transferred.  Although the investigation and prosecution of the crime is solely the responsibility of local authorities, consular officers can help you to understand the local criminal justice process and to find an attorney if needed. 

http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_t ... s_987.html

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Re: HELP: My grandma is being scammed.

Postby Igulinka » Fri Nov 23, 2018 4:34 am

TRAFFIC SAFETY AND ROAD CONDITIONS: 
While in a foreign country, U.S. citizens may encounter road conditions that differ significantly from those in the United States.  The information below concerning Nigeria is provided for general reference only and may not be totally accurate in a particular location or circumstance.
Roads are generally in poor condition, causing damage to vehicles and contributing to hazardous traffic conditions.  There are few traffic lights or stop signs. Lagos, a city of over 10 million people, has only a few operating traffic lights. The rainy season from May to October is especially dangerous because of flooded roads.
Excessive speed, unpredictable driving habits, and the lack of basic maintenance and safety equipment on many vehicles are additional hazards.  Motorists seldom yield the right-of-way and give little consideration to pedestrians and cyclists.  Gridlock is common in urban areas. Chronic fuel shortages have led to long lines at service stations, which disrupt or block traffic for extended periods.
Public transportation vehicles are unsafe due to poor maintenance, high speeds and overcrowding. Passengers in local taxis have been driven to secluded locations where they were attacked and robbed. Several of the victims required hospitalization. The U.S. Embassy advises that public transportation throughout Nigeria is dangerous and should be avoided.
Short-term visitors are urged not to drive.  A Nigerian driver's license can take months to obtain, and the international driving permit is not recognized. Major hotels offer reliable car-hire services complete with drivers. Reliable car-hire services can also be obtained at the customer service centers at the international airports in Lagos, Abuja, and Kano. Inter-city travelers must also consider that roadside assistance is extremely scarce, and the lack of access to even modest health care facilities means that a traffic incident that might result in a minor injury in the United States could result in death or permanent disability in Nigeria.
All drivers and passengers are reminded to wear seat belts, lock doors, and raise windows.  It is important to secure appropriate insurance. It is also important to realize that drivers and passengers of vehicles involved in accidents resulting in injury or death have experienced extra-judicial actions, i.e., mob attacks, in addition to official consequences such as fines and incarceration.  Night driving should be avoided.  Bandits and police roadblocks are more numerous at night.  Streets are very poorly lit, and many vehicles are missing one or both headlights, tail lights, and reflectors.
The Government of Nigeria charges the Federal Road Safety Commission with providing maps and public information on specific road conditions. The Federal Road Safety Commission may be contacted by mail at: Federal Road Safety Commission, National Headquarters, Olusegun Obasanjo Way, PMB 125, Zone 7 Wuse, Abuja; telephone: (234)(09) 523-2702, 5234643, 5234207, or 5231070; email: info@frsc.gov.ng; web site: www.frsc.gov.ng.
http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_t ... s_987.html
Confronting the scammer is WRONG!!! DON'T enlighten criminals with your wisdom. REPORT & BLOCK.
PHOTO VICTIM - "Do not confront the owner of the pictures, as they are victims themselves! You will only serve to further the terror and harm !" Silence Is Golden!!! I speak Polish.

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Re: HELP: My grandma is being scammed.

Postby minerva » Fri Nov 23, 2018 12:57 pm

His Hangouts

Musa Suraj
lloydwill89@gmail.com
B.Sc chemistry • University of maiduguri
Benin city
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Re: HELP: My grandma is being scammed.

Postby IceFM » Fri Nov 23, 2018 1:14 pm

lloydwill89@gmail.com

https:/ /plus.google.com/107758748718694367996

Musa Suraj

self employed
2004 until today

Education
B.Sc chemistry at University of maiduguri
2008–2012
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
+++ The FAQ / FAQ in deutsch +++

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Re: HELP: My grandma is being scammed.

Postby CappyTally » Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:22 pm

Thank you guys for your help. I don't have much for additional info, but this is still going on and it's still taking a major emotional toll on me. One thing I'm concerned about is money changing hands. Obviously I don't want my grandma to be sending this guy money, but I'm increasingly worried about the idea of HIM GIVING HER money. Would this get my grandma in trouble? If she received money from him and spent it, whether on bills or holiday shopping or whatever, would she then be implicated in some kind of crime herself?

Another cause for concern is that the subject of BTA came up today. Apparently Raj's boss (or maybe friend?) brought it up. That was a major red flag, but because Raj hasn't actually asked for money and has said himself that it's not a real thing, my grandma still trusts him. She's still being told that he'll need money to travel with, like for food and whatnot, even though it's not a BTA or anything, so I'm worried they may try to get money from her somehow, or use her to obtain money some other way.

What can I do here?

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