I'm so sorry you're dealing with this now. The holidays make it so much harder. But you sound like a really sharp person to understand exactly what's going on, even to the point of knowing the futility of confronting the scammer. All we can hope and pray for here is for karma to render swift and appropriate justice.
Meanwhile, just from what you've written, I can tell you're a survivor and you'll quickly find a way to rectify being lonely. And now you're armed with wisdom and knowledge of the risks out there on the dating sites.
After my divorce (22 years ago) I spent too long a time being lonely until I got proactive. I went back to college, I took courses on things that interested me, I became a foster parent, then adopted 3 children (that right there eliminated loneliness altogether), I joined a club for a hobby of mine, I got actively involved in my church, I took up painting wall murals and scenery for a local theater group, I joined a gym, I learned to enjoy movies alone, I taught classes to senior citizens at a local center, I got a part time job, then a full time job doing something I enjoy, I volunteer here . . . and now 20 years later (and still single (by choice)), my life is full, I'm still doing most of the above and I'm NEVER lonely.
Now I'm not saying you should do what I did. What works for one, might not work for another. But you know you have lots of options. You are in control. And once you master you're own techniques for doing what makes you happy, I promise you, you'll be in the right place, in the right frame of mind, to recognize the real person who will make the best relationship partner for you. You'll just have to make time for them.
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