Jennseerattan, it is horrible what these scumbags have done to you. It looks like as if you have become the victim of a very aggressive gang.
I think that it is very important that you immediately cease any communication with them. By doing so a. you will protect yourself against their further attempts to scam you more, like, for instance, a recovery scam b. from that moment you will start getting your life back on track. Just cut these sadists off!
I was also a victim so I know how you feel and what you are going through now. Reading other sections like „Support”, where other victims shared their stories, helped me a lot to understand and become aware of many things of which at that time I had no idea. Reading these sections will also keep your mind occupied with thoughts other than related to your particular scammers – then, I think, you will be able to sort (almost) everything out and start thinking about how you can get through it. You cannot fix any engine if you don’t know how it works.
The healing process is different for every person. Do whatever you usually do when you are stressed. I personally like a tremendous physical effort to remove all negative energy from my body. Setting, for instance, even the smallest goal to be achieved every day will also help you to get back your peace.
Don’t try to figure out how they can do such things – these parasitic manipulators are not human. The internet is full of the pics of their dumb, thoughtless and sweaty faces. Gosh, and all of them so ugly …. They are dead from the neck upwards. They have no human emotions. Their brains are completely empty. So don’t bother with such thoughts (if you have any) because it would be only a waste of time. You need to protect yourself NOW.
Don’t look for men in the pics either because a. they are not able to do anything about their stolen photos, b. they are victims themselves.
If you feel attached to your scammer, you need to understand that this person does not exist. He is only your fantasy, the product of your imagination which the scammer created in your mind on the basis of what you told him yourself thinking that he was interested - like normal people usually are – in their potential partner, in your dreams and thoughts. All of us remember how the scammer asked us so many questions about what we like and what we don’t to discover („lucky we”) that – in a blink of an eye – he likes and does not like exactly the same things as we do: “wow, we are meant for each other”. The reality is that they don’t care. All they care about is our money. They perfectly know that since we are human, we have human feelings. This was the reason for selling us their sob stories about a wife who died in a car crash or when giving birth to his child or another crap. There were many stories like these, and I am sure that your scammer was selling you the same bullshit. This is how it works – you pour your heart trusting that the person on the other side was genuine, understands you and accepts you as you are to eventually find out that he uses all this information and secrets you told him against you by emotionally blackmailing you – this is their standard: “You have another man you keep me here at the airport, I'm just confuse that you refuse to send your part … maybe I have to kill myself now. Thank you for treating me poorly", or something like this. Sounds familiar?
One of the most difficult effort in our life is removing someone precious from our hearts. But as soon as we realise that this “someone” does not exist, having “him” in our heart becomes pointless. The battle between what we know in our heads and what we feel in our hearts (I think this is the stage you are now) is the hardest but you can win it! I won this battle when I understood the whole mechanism of scamming. If you asked me whether it was worth reading so much about it, I would answer “yes” because now a. I know b. I can look at the pics of “my soldier” with no feelings whatsoever … in fact, now I don’t even like what I see … Unfortunately, we don’t have a delete button to delete what happened to us, but I deeply trust that all the s*** they put us through sooner or later finds its way back to them, and if we are lucky, we will watch Karma at work.
Jennseerattan, you will get over it! Just start ….