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Romance Scam

Please report romance scams and dating scams here. We accept reports on Russian scammers and Nigerian scammers.

Disclaimer regarding pictures posted on the board: please understand that you are NOT looking at the pictures of people who are actually scamming you. The people portrayed on these photos are innocent men and women, NOT involved in scamming in any way and have nothing to do with scammers. The scammers are using their images without their knowledge or permission to deceive their victims and steal their money.



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The Healing Process

Emotional Support, Compassionate Friends
Stupidity
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Stupidity » Thu Aug 30, 2018 5:33 am

Thank you all for the support.

I am trying very hard to brace my each day.
At night i will cry till sleep.

Hoping time will heal the pain but the scar will definately remain.

Re: The Healing Process

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Rebuilding
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Rebuilding » Fri Aug 31, 2018 8:36 pm

Hi there. You should change your username. We know we all were mistaken but try not to keep that label.

For me the scar is there. It's not leaving. It took too much of a chunk of my life. But am doing my best to move on. I remember being in tears trying to sleep. It is oh so painful. So you are not alone.

Feel free to post here. I think it helps to let out some steam.

Hang tough.

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Wingman182
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Wingman182 » Tue Sep 04, 2018 3:51 pm

Hello S. and a belated welcome to R.S.
Like the other I will not use the name you have chosen for yourself here. You have already been through enough. And as the others have said it is a name that is completely undeserving, and only adds more pain to the suffering you are still going through.

We all know how hard and painful it is in the beginning once you have realized that the one you have opened your heart out to turned out to be nothing but lies.
I hope you have read Igulinka's post closely because she has shared with you some of the truths you will need to deal with in order to start your road of healing.
And it is a road. It starts off in a very dark and black tunnel. As you travel this road the tunnel may seem to go on forever without end. But then at some point you will see that the black is slowly changing to different shades of gray. And past that gray you will start to see the light.
And I do promise you. There is light at the end of that tunnel and you will reach it.
It won't be easy, and I can not say how long it will take because we all heal in our own way and in our own time.

However before you can start your way along this road you need to listen to all of the good advice you have received here.
Stop and block any forms of communication with them.
Stop blaming yourself for what has happened to you because it is most definitely NOT your fault.
Stop worrying about the photo's of yourself that you had sent. The threats they are using are hollow. And they will most likely never go through with it.
The threats are only another attempt to get you back into paying them more money.
But as you have heard once they can not reach you, they will just spend their efforts working on other victims because going through with the threats WILL NOT bring them in any money. And that is ALL they want.
Please put aside any thoughts of hurting yourself. I nearly made this same mistake once. ONCE!!
But the pain and hurt will slowly get better. I promise you it will. And gradually you will rebuild your life once again. Whats more important is that you will come to love yourself again.
Finally and most certainly not last there is the grieving you are going through. And it truly is a grieving process because you have lost something that was very dear and close to you. This person may have been nothing but an invented profile, and everything that was said to you was nothing but lies. Your feeling were very true and genuine. And you deserve every right to grieve this painful loss.
But that's okay. You take all the time you need. There's not rush. The road will always be there. And you have found friends who are willing to help you because we have all been there to, traveling our own roads.

Take heart S. and hold strong because you are not alone.
Wingman182 Pay It Forward

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Tristeza » Sat Nov 10, 2018 1:43 am

Eu fui enganada por dois anos, e só descobri que o homem que eu amava era um scammer porque nunca mostrava o rosto. Amei esse homem como nunca amei ninguém, mas como disse em dois anos nunca se mostrou!! Fiquei muito desconfiada e comecei pesquisar no Google fotos e quando achei eu não pude acreditar!! Era horrível!! Eu liguei na hora para ele e ele negou!! E me perguntou que golpe ele me deu para eu desconfiar? Eu realmente não pude dizer nada porque ele nunca me falou em dinheiro. Nunca me levou nada a não ser o meu coração. Eu pesquisei e vi muitas postagem referente a ele e percebi que ele é mestre no mundo de crimes. Mas o que me intrigou foi ele nunca me pedir nada. Estou sofrendo denunciei ele mesmo não tendo me levado nada e para minha família eu disse que ele morreu. Amo ele e sofro até hoje eu choro!! Aínda nos falamos por um mês após minha descoberta mas ele nunca assumiu quem era. Hoje estou afastada dele a uma semana e não sei se vou sobreviver sem entender como isso durou dois anos e o que ele estava esperando para me dá o golpe? São perguntas que nunca terei resposta e a minha formação só aumenta a cada dia. Hoje estou fazendo terapia mas não estou bem.


I was cheated for two years, and only found out that the man I loved was a scammer because he never showed his face. I loved this man like I've never loved anyone else, but as I said in two years it never showed !! I was very suspicious and started searching in Google photos and when I thought I could not believe !! It was awful !! I called him right away and he denied it !! And you asked me what a blow he gave me so I would not know? I really could not say anything because he never told me money. It never took anything but my heart. I searched and saw many post referring to him and realized that he is master in the world of crimes. But what intrigued me was that he never asked me for anything. I am suffering denunciating himself not having taken anything and for my family I said that he died. I love him and I suffer until today I cry !! We spoke for a month after my discovery but he never assumed who he was. Today I am away from him for a week and I do not know if I will survive without understanding how this lasted two years and what was he waiting for to hit me? These are questions I will never answer and my training only increases every day. I'm doing therapy today, but I'm not well.

oldernotwise
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby oldernotwise » Fri Dec 28, 2018 2:07 pm

I’m new here and was completely unaware of the existence of romance scams.
Until 2 months ago.
Now I’m having a terrible time recovering.
Feeling very depressed and stupid and ashamed of myself for even thinking that someone would “fall in love” with me online.
I can’t seem to get him out of my head. I can’t sleep. I can’t find a reason to keep going.
I am still grieving the death of my husband 9 months ago. I was lonely but coping until this happened. So upset at myself for even replying to that first message- But I thought it wouldn’t do me any harm but it really did.
Thanks for listening.

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Igulinka
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Igulinka » Fri Dec 28, 2018 6:41 pm

oldernotwise

We are very sorry for the loss of your husband and for the scam. Please take your time to heal, most of all keep occupied when ever thought of "him" will come into your head. It takes quite time to come back to "yourself" but there is a sunshine on horizon for each of us. Scammers don't have feelings. They don't care whom they hurt.

Please do not call yourself stupid. You were unaware but it doesn't make you stupid.

Please set for yourself a strict criteria for dating online such: distance and time to meet face to face etc. If the person can't fulfill it, it means most likely this person is only interested in online scam.

Please post: fake profile, email address, phone numbers, stolen photos, money request, etc. BLOCK and IGNORE scammers, feel better.
Confronting the scammer is WRONG!!! DON'T enlighten criminals with your wisdom. REPORT & BLOCK.
PHOTO VICTIM - "Do not confront the owner of the pictures, as they are victims themselves! You will only serve to further the terror and harm !" Silence Is Golden!!! I speak Polish.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby oldernotwise » Fri Dec 28, 2018 10:32 pm

Thank you.
What occurred to me today was that there are very few people I feel comfortable in discussing this with and I guess this is why these scams are flourishing. Thank goodness you are here.

I was contacted by 3 romance scammers within 1 month. The scammer I told you about was the only one I fell for. I reported them,but 2 out of 3 are still out there on social media. And I got a message today that 1 scammer has been shut down. Not sure what to do now. What if I’m wrong? If the social media site can’t find any wrongdoing?

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Igulinka
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Igulinka » Fri Dec 28, 2018 11:34 pm

Just post all info about the scammers here and we will look into it.
Please do not let your precious time to be consumed by them anymore.
Try to stay away from computer for a bit.
Take control in your hands and you will find yourself to feel better and empowered.
Good luck!

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby bluemoods » Fri Feb 15, 2019 1:23 am

Post what you have. I was contacted today by a scammer. fortunately I recognized the picture as that of an actor and posted what info I had here.

I'm very aware of the possibility of scammers. One of my friends who happens to be an Instagram model just had his FB and IG hacked by someone trying to impersonate him. He had to verify his identity and, go through a lot of hassle. These scammers don't realize how much they hurt the person they impersonate.
Last edited by FrumpyBB on Sat Feb 16, 2019 1:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Edited

Panic
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Panic » Sun Apr 07, 2019 3:41 pm

The news media shows a romance scam victim in such a negative, judgmental, mocking way. The victims sent all the money so the blame is entirely gone from the scammers. "You sent the money". No one has any knowledge of such scams like the romance scam, when I talk about it to or try to inform, they don't even know what the heck it's all about and it's usually grouped together with the usual business, phone scams like it's even the same. These vultures development a relationship, create a strong, emotional attachment to the vulnerable victim(divorced, widowed, someone that is in deep emotional pain) for months then attack. Being in an abusive marriage where I was put down and abused, coming from that very painful life to divorce right up until the time of the scam---> I was taking courses and felt stressed and did not feel confident, my family was not close to me, the scammer was there every step pushing my confidence and being excited when I passed the exams, motivating me and saying how much he believed in me, so a deep bond was created, the same way a patient and a special therapist are or star counselor develops with a student or how a motivational speaker is with his audience. The kindred spirits. That's how I felt right before he started the "attack".

How below toilet level scum would they have to be. Always being smart, practical with money, never lending it out unless it's family it's unbelievable for me when I look back at it that I fell for this, it's like it wasn't even me or I was possessed because I don't recognize myself and am at awe at how I developed this attachment.

I remember even mentioning how when I was suspicious and started saying how there are some that are victims of romance scams that actually committed suicide after realizing the shock and horror of what had happened to them, the scammer was just how could you put me in the same group as those shameless animals, I'm just someone who is stuck here and need help....

Absolutely no one will understand what is done to a romance scam victim during that nightmarish time when they are being scammed until they actually go through it themselves.

The only positive news I've heard related to romance scam victims is that more is being done to stop it. How artificial intelligence is being used to foil online dating scams.
https://phys.org/news/2019-02-artificia ... ating.html

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