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Romance Scam

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The Healing Process

Emotional Support, Compassionate Friends
justamom
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby justamom » Wed Sep 30, 2009 9:24 pm

Thanks Pinky I'll try that.

Re: The Healing Process

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby justamom » Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:29 pm

I sent him message back SCAMMER! and now he keeps texting me and saying nasty things and threatning messages. I take them to be threats: "I can track you down!" Unfortunately I had given him my real name at one time. Then I told him a different fake name. Hopefully he believes the second fake name is the real one. Can they find me?

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Arabian Nights
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Arabian Nights » Tue Oct 06, 2009 1:43 am

hi justamom
It is some what disturbing when you get these messages :(
He is mad that his game has been found and is trying to unsettle you, after all this time he has spent grooming you for the payout :mad: which he will not get, and is attempting to bully you into what he wants.....$$$$$$$

There are many of us here, including myself, that have even received death threats..............we are still here :D

The reality is that they are in a little room in Nigeria working there scheme on others to get the $$$$$$ and will not be going ANY WHERE, lazy arses
it will slow down and then it will stop, just do not respond to him any further, let him stew in his own juices :D

As for your personal details am sure it will go no further, if you have given any banking details then get those changed


I must say it is quiet funny when they get mad :mrgreen: :D :applause: :applause:

Keep up the good work you are a great person and am glad to know you, thankyou :)
Have you GOOGLED today!
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Pinky
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Pinky » Tue Oct 06, 2009 3:54 am

He's puny, helpless, impotent and horribly frustrated. :mrgreen: He deserves much worse, but that's the best we can hope for now. Bad karma will haunt him, I'm sure.

He can't get to you. He'll never get out of Nigeria and even if he knew someone here in the states, it's a BIG country. Chances of him knowing someone in your immediate area are slim to none. Add to that the likelihood he knows someone in your hometown who's willing to risk their own resident status or visitor's visa by harassing you and I'd say you have a zero chance of any repercussions. He's only venting his frustrations - which means you got to him. Didn't I tell you they hate to be called SCAMMER? hehe

Well done! Bravo!
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justamom
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby justamom » Tue Oct 06, 2009 4:45 am

Thanks I feel better. If he was trying to unsettle me, it worked. But I am ok now. I refuse to let him get to me because then he wins. In a way.
He was pretty mad. First he tried to say that I was the scammer. Tryng to take HIS hard earned money. :mrgreen: . Then he said he had fun playing with me.
and called me a mother f****r . :mrgreen: Little creep.

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Arabian Nights
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Arabian Nights » Tue Oct 06, 2009 5:05 am

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :cry: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
Well you go girl
They are really really funny, and then they ring you or text you wasting their time and $$$$$$$ :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
and they WANT your $$$$$, just TOO FUNNY
the language can get really colorful and even more funny :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
And he admitted to being a SCAMMER, little lazy teeny, wenny penis arse :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
:applause: :applause: Congradulations :applause: :applause:
Have you GOOGLED today!
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justamom
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby justamom » Tue Oct 06, 2009 9:53 pm

:mrgreen: I know.
I so wanted to tell him.. dude you need to go back to scammer school. You suck at it :mrgreen:

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby zetaarnold » Tue Oct 06, 2009 11:54 pm

Justamom:
It is really nice to know you're feeling better. And YES, scam the scammer made us have a sensation of pleasure :D and fair revenge. :applause: :applause: Congratulations and take care.
"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark..." Shakespeare

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby catchthem » Thu Oct 15, 2009 5:01 am

im going threw hurting i just found out the person i been chatting to for over two years he is a scammer and he scammed me for 700 plus money i paid to ship some packages he lied saying he loved me and wanted to marry me he is in nigeria suppose to been from texas he put on the charm he goes by simeon driggs simeondriggs@yahoo.com his photos is of lucas darlington ive cryed because i thought the picture was real i too would like to know the person in those photos he has a profile on bebo.com did have one on flixster

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Arabian Nights
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Arabian Nights » Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:02 am

hi catchthem :)
am sorry for your loss and discovery after a 2 yr investment it must be painful
Please post up all you can such as ip addresses, emails, phone numbers and addresses
this will help others out
the sad truth is that while you have been chatting with him he has also been busy chatting with others and scamming them as well
It is about $$$$$ and not leaving the cyber cafe
please take your time to read posts and the "victims" section on the welcome page, it is a great help
there are many of us here who have had similar experiences and are here to walk with you on this journey of recovery
once again am sorry for you experience :) take your time and share when you are ready

you are a kind and gentle person and am grateful to see you here :)
give yourself time and do some things you enjoy
one day at a time we move :)
Have you GOOGLED today!
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MARMUFRE
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby MARMUFRE » Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:56 am

I suggest, for people who are in the healing process after being a scammer's victim, the classical book of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, "On Death and Dying" (1969), which I suppose many already know. The situation here is of course different, as people here are not dying after being scammed. But, the emotional situation - being forced to accept a desillusionment - has similarities. It's a very sensitive book, surely useful to deal with heartbroken. Time is necessary in this kind of situation, but good emotional elaboration makes recuperation less painful.

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The Wild Geese
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby The Wild Geese » Thu Oct 15, 2009 10:00 am

Based on my own experience, the healing process is a very difficult process. One must have the goal to heal. Who says that healing the wound after being stabbed goes very quickly. No nothing is easy here. You engaged yourself to something you thought was for real. Then at the end you found out that the person you thought you fall in loved with is not the person in the picture. :cry: The one behind is an evil scammer who don't really love you but is just after the money he can get from you.

You know what I used to do to let myself forgot that devil? I just look at someone who comes from the same place as my former scammer. I have one here in our company. I try to imagine him looking just like the person I fall in love with, plus with horns like the devil. Then all my longings disappear! :lol: I really feel how stupid I am to long for the presence of the person I communicated with! No not me! Another most helpful thing I do to heal is reading these reports from victims in RS. The different stories posted makes myself more motivated to heal because there is nothing left for me to think back those memory lane. Better block him out of my mind. I have it better without that devil!

One thing I can be thankful of being once a scammer's victim. Through RS I found a friend, a very nice friend! Not a SCAMMER this time. A friend you can tell everything including serious and nonsence! Thank you RS
Nothing wrong of being an Engr. as long as you are real. :-)

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Pinky
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Pinky » Thu Oct 15, 2009 1:17 pm

Hi Catchthem and welcome, even though it's under sad circumstances to be here. Marmufre mentioned the book On Death and Dying which has invaluable information on the healing process. I even quote from the book at the beginning of this post. However, while there are useful tools in the book, I think being scammed is sometimes worse than losing someone you love to death. In fact often a victim will believe death is too nice a reward for their scammer. Then the ill wishes towards another human being tends to affect the conscience of most victims. Scammers don't have conscience.

Death is a permanent loss and a final end. Scammers are still out there to haunt us. Generally when we lose someone we love to death, we don't hate them and want revenge on them for dying. There are a lot more analogies and horribly conflicting emotions that you will be dealing with. I suggest you read through the posts in this tread and see how others have dealt with the exact same issue you're going through. I am sure you will find the strength and courage to conquer your grief. You will find answers too. Throw your own hat in the ring here and support others as well. That's a good first step in the right direction.
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Arabian Nights
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Arabian Nights » Thu Oct 15, 2009 3:15 pm

:) mmm well yes the book was written to help with a life ending mmmm :)

it can also be used in a metaphorical way , not only as a life ending BUT THE ENDING OF SOMETHING
and not all deaths come willingly or expectantly, some are sudden, unfair and unjust
and sometimes there has been no closer to the life or chapter
so we can harbor anger and resentment :evil:
along with ongoing memories of what it could have been and the what if's :(

after all if it was a child that died would we not grieve the same :cry:
the loss of promises, the loss of love, the what if's, the dreams, hopes and the reminder throughout our lives as other children around us grow of what could have been :(

we are after all human with wants, desires and needs
to be able to acknowledge that we are compassionate, caring, truthful people and that we are able to love :love:
wanting to believe in the person who we gave our heart too
loss and grief would be the same with the ending of this emotional relationship :heartbroken: and being our first as well :cry:
I am so grateful to have known you all :kissing:
the strength to share your experiences with us and also to assists others to remain safe :)

we are here for you, to walk with you and when you are ready we will still be here to stand with you
give yourself time to heal and to find yourself again :)

Thankyou all once again for being here :applause: :applause: :applause:
Have you GOOGLED today!
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby didi » Fri Oct 16, 2009 7:09 am

It has really helped me a lot to write down my story and post it here. I am much calmer and I don't think so much about those damn asses now. I am still angry about the money, but anger can only hurt myself and not them. I might have found myself a new - and real - male friend on Dating 'n More. Time will show what happens. And I have found a couple of friends here and on DnM.
didi

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