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Romance Scam

Please report romance scams and dating scams here. We accept reports on Russian scammers and Nigerian scammers.

Disclaimer regarding pictures posted on the board: please understand that you are NOT looking at the pictures of people who are actually scamming you. The people portrayed on these photos are innocent men and women, NOT involved in scamming in any way and have nothing to do with scammers. The scammers are using their images without their knowledge or permission to deceive their victims and steal their money.



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The Healing Process

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Rebuilding
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Rebuilding » Fri Mar 09, 2018 3:16 am

Hi Panic,
what a mess. I totally understand. I dont have much time to reply for now. I was also sucked into the Turkey scam as a part of it. they got me send to several countries.. I actually MET face to face one of them thinking it was someone who was helping us and a friend of etc. etc. I hate those Nigerians... ok.. not all.. and not just them but they bad bad men and woman. The woman are in it also dont think otherwise.

All you are being told are lies. The arrests, etc. They play on your emotions. I still owe some more money. I did some work to get some debt forgiven from a friend. It is crazy I know. painful, tears... you name it. What did I do to deserve this? I totally know.

be strong.. pray if you pray. I have God and although it not make it all better at least I have something to hope in.
Don't send a dime and dont talk to those fools again.
What happened when you told your family about this experience? No one understands. I was the type that never loaned out money to anyone nor do I trust anyone but then how is it that these men were able to get me to wire money so easily like that?
Hi Panic,
They knew from the beginning almost and tried to stop me. I thought I verified it enough. They even helped send money. Sad I know. I saw the facts in front of me but they explained it away so well I just went along. That is what brainwashing does. They do it do often that it's nothing to them. It is like telling someone something and if you believe it they will too.

I don't talk about much anymore. Nobody will understand and surely you cannot explain why we do this. Love, loneliness, trust, and lack of exposure to such evil we don't realize we are being played. Me? Never not possible. Oh the humanity.

It's forever shaped my life. Trying to get through it.
Hang tough.

Re: The Healing Process

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Panic
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Panic » Sat Mar 10, 2018 3:52 pm

Why isn't there a link to www.romancescam.com on every dating and marriage site? I never knew such evil existed and I somehow thought these dating/marriage sites protected their members but they usually just take money from the premium members and don't do any ID or background checks.

Rebuilding
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Rebuilding » Sat Mar 17, 2018 4:50 pm

Why isn't there a link to www.romancescam.com on every dating and marriage site? I never knew such evil existed and I somehow thought these dating/marriage sites protected their members but they usually just take money from the premium members and don't do any ID or background checks.
Hi Panic,
I think websites are doing better at making members aware. Years ago it was known but we did not think it could happen to us. We still think that however we are more alert to the scams. One day at a time.

I am glad this thread has helped others as it helped me.

Hang in there.

Rebuilding
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Rebuilding » Thu Apr 26, 2018 12:36 am

Hope you folks are doing ok. I still deal with anger issues over this. Not that I have not forgiven, but for such manipulation it will affect me for a while. I am doing ok. Pressing forward my best. It sure takes a toll on you. I think personally it is more deep rooted than I want to accept. One day at a time. I try to set goals for myself each day if I can. Sometimes they are small and other times bigger goals. I do not pretend to be feeling super duper. I feel a bit inadequate after all of this at times. I know I am capable but I tend to feel damaged a bit also. I realize it will take time.

I wanted to drop a note in here.

How are you all doing?

Cheers

JUNE HO
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby JUNE HO » Thu Apr 26, 2018 5:48 am

Hi Rebuilding..
5 months already passed...after i was being scammed. Right now I'm make myself busy with my job.. bcoz i dont want to remember what already happen to me ..But suddenly Last night i'm feel very sad..maybe bcoz i have problem with my work.. and at the same time I remember again all bad things that happen to me.. I'm just crying. I did not have many close friend and live alone at workplace..I'm try to applied to transfer at new workplace. . But still not approved.. Then i was contacted police that handle my case and he told me its still in investigation.. It's not easy for them oso.. I'm always try to make myself okay.. But sometimes i'm feel very hate those scammer..and it make myself hurt too... My life just ruined bcoz of them...
Any advice to me...?

Rebuilding
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Rebuilding » Tue May 01, 2018 11:11 pm

Hi Rebuilding..
5 months already passed...after i was being scammed. Right now I'm make myself busy with my job.. bcoz i dont want to remember what already happen to me ..But suddenly Last night i'm feel very sad..maybe bcoz i have problem with my work.. and at the same time I remember again all bad things that happen to me.. I'm just crying. I did not have many close friend and live alone at workplace..I'm try to applied to transfer at new workplace. . But still not approved.. Then i was contacted police that handle my case and he told me its still in investigation.. It's not easy for them oso.. I'm always try to make myself okay.. But sometimes i'm feel very hate those scammer..and it make myself hurt too... My life just ruined bcoz of them...
Any advice to me...?
Hi June,
Thanks for the update. Yes time goes by but the pain takes a while to go away. The police can't do a whole lot. Sadly it happens often and of course we can never get our funds back. I know I don't like the scammers also. It is really a pain to have to think about it. We almost have to make an effort to not think about it. It is a bad memory and I try to think of it that way. Life starts over now. I am sure others can give a more refined answer but that is the best we can do sometimes.

Try to keep yourself busy. Go find a new hobby or hike a trail etc. It keeps you focused on others things and slowly the old pains start to subside a little at a time.

We will be tough together. Feel free to post here when needed. I welcome anyone who wants to.

Cheers.

JUNE HO
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby JUNE HO » Wed May 02, 2018 5:56 am

Thank u Rebuilding...
I feel I can only share my stories here at this site... Bcoz people here had a same stories and more understand how I' m feel inside..
This is very hard for me..and I think it really take a long time for me to forget all this bad memories.. But as u said life starts over now.. And time will never return back.. ..
If im feel still need someone to cheer me up.. I will post here..
Really appriacate your words.. Thank u again..

Oldanddumb
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Oldanddumb » Mon May 07, 2018 5:18 pm

Ugh. I just found out, definitively, that I was scammed. I am so sad and lonely and feel so stupid. It feels like i will never feel better. I just don’t know what to do and I can’t talk to anyone; I am too ashamed.

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Igulinka
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Igulinka » Mon May 07, 2018 5:25 pm

Oldanddumb

Welcome to RS. We are very sorry that this happened to you too. Please know you are not stupid. Consider yourself rather uneducated about romance criminals and please know it can happen to absolutely everyone.
Please take a baby steps in your personal recovery and soon you'll see that sun is shining for you too.

Kindly post: fake profile, email addresses, all phone numbers, fake documents, money transfer info, messages, stolen pictures etc.

Please BLOCK and IGNORE scammers, they surely will come for more if you won't do it. Please be safe online.
Confronting the scammer is WRONG!!! DON'T enlighten criminals with your wisdom. REPORT & BLOCK.
PHOTO VICTIM - "Do not confront the owner of the pictures, as they are victims themselves! You will only serve to further the terror and harm !" Silence Is Golden!!! I speak Polish.

Rebuilding
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Rebuilding » Tue May 08, 2018 4:49 am

Ugh. I just found out, definitively, that I was scammed. I am so sad and lonely and feel so stupid. It feels like i will never feel better. I just don’t know what to do and I can’t talk to anyone; I am too ashamed.
Hi oldand not dumb.. hey then we all dumb. Trust me we all feel / felt that way. I still feel like that at times. As I said above I choose to not think about it if possible. That moment when you know for sure is tough. Sick to stomach. You see all the signs. But you ignored them but that is what they count on. They can tell us anything and cloud us and know we will go along.

I felt the same. Like I could not get better. It comes and goes. But you will heal. It's ok that you never forget. It's like forgetting war. It's a part of us but does not have to define us as well. The older we are when it happens seems like it hurts more at least to me. Lost many many years and it has been hard to see the future when I had a different future in my mind.

Feel free to unload on here. I still say the scammer Nigerians are bad words.. and ya I still upset. But I forgive. Does not mean I have to like them or give a blank about them. You will go through a lot of emotions. We all understand. Hang in there friend.

Cheers.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Rebuilding » Thu Aug 23, 2018 11:32 pm

Hello, I thought I would follow up. I am glad to see no posts but I know there are still scammers at work. I have my moments and its still tough at times. How is anyone else? Feel free to post I still check this often.

Cheeers

Stupidity
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Stupidity » Tue Aug 28, 2018 12:01 pm

Hi All

I am new here and am a victim.

The whole process took 3 months to realised that I have been a victim. I have $$ lost and worse its not the end. Now I have been threaten to expose my private pictures which i stupidly shared when i was deeply in loved.

I am in the state of ending my life. I have reported the case to the local enforcement team but seems of no help. I am not asking to have the lost money returned. I just want my life back to normal.

I have no one i can speak too.

How can i get some peace back?

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Rebuilding » Wed Aug 29, 2018 12:29 am

HI there, i can't call you stupid because we all been there. I king of that. I was fooled many years. 3 months is still a long time. They are good at brainwashing but good thing is you got out of it. However ya they can use those images against you. They are bastards and they don't care. The police get a lot of these calls and little they can do about it. But i know there are some people online that can talk to you. It is very embarrassing so we never really like talking to strangers about it. I know there is some non profit that also helps people with legal troubles over these scams but you seem not to have that other than the extortion.

If you want me to look further for you I can. hang in there. I wont preach because I was the dumbest of the victims. But maybe try a Christian Church if that will help. I do not know your past so I don't know about that.

Some others on here are more eloquent than I am so maybe they will chime in also.

Hang tough its what we all must do.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Igulinka » Wed Aug 29, 2018 2:17 am

Stupidity

Hi, please change your alias because for sure you not stupid. Consider yourself uneducated victim of cyber crime.
Please do NOT ever think about ending your life. Your life is a very PRECIOUS gift and there will be better days coming on horizon. We all here went to this horrible ordeal and we healed or healing our hearts, learn how to leave after the scam and do the best in the future.

Do not pay any attention to the threats. You MUST BLOCK and IGNORE scammers. As soon as you'll shut down your computer the scam is over. Since you realized it's a crime you are in control not them.

Please try from your whole heart to put the scam behind you. Do not think about what they told you. I am sorry but all those were lies just to defraud you . Please do not ask other victim those questions. Save yourself more headache. The stolen pictures may be abused by mamy , many gangs. You not necessarily have same scammer with anyone else unless IP will match. Please put those stolen photos aside or delete them and never look back.

This scammer with stolen photo swept your sensibilities and cautions away with his brainwashing and preyed upon your loneliness and longing to be loved. But let me be VERY clear on one important fact: The man in the pictures is NOT the man whose words stole your heart and took your money. The African criminal played you until he was convinced you were in love and desperate to please him and then he invented a reason to need money that only you could give him.


Unfortunately, we cannot accurately pinpoint and tell you exactly who is responsible for this horrible assault you have been victimized by. We can only give you a profile. He is a young West African male, probably between the ages of 16 and 25. He lives in Nigeria or Ghana or possibly Malaysia and there's a good chance wherever he is, he is Nigerian. He scams for a living. He works in a 'gang' of 3 to 10 other males and/or sometimes a female or two as well. The gang has a boss, who might provide the location, computers and Western Union and law enforcement bribes.

Every member of the gang has a job they do and they work round the clock roaming dating and social media sites, collecting pictures, making email accounts, reading and stealing profiles, sending out flirts and contacts, sorting and answering emails, developing new avenues to collect money and story lines, plus a whole lot more (including phishing and hacking). The scammers with better English skills are usually the ones who do the majority of writing profiles and lengthy emails. They also do the phone calls, especially if they can speak English with any other accent besides African. Chances are good that you were never in contact with just one man in the beginning.

ow what must you do?
First, do not confront the scammer with what you've discovered. It will do no good. He lies for a living. You will NEVER get truth from him.
Second, protect your personal information. Get a new email account and switch friends and family over to it, then close the one the scammer has. If this is not possible, block him entirely but beware that he will reinvent himself and try to come back to you.
If you do Facebook, chance your settings so that no one can see anything about you except your closest friends and family. If he has your phone number and sends you text messages, take your phone to your provider and ask them to block the scammer if you don't know how to do it on your own, but like the email, scammers have access to other phones so if he manages to get a call through, hang up on him immediately. Don't ever answer another text message from him again.
And if you used Yahoo chat, close your account and stay off it for a few months.
The most important thing to do now is to cease ALL communications with your scammer.

Do not waste any more time on thinking about the scammer. One day you will forgive him in order to forgive yourself and consider a scam as an isolated incident in your life, lesson learn hard-way .
Confronting the scammer is WRONG!!! DON'T enlighten criminals with your wisdom. REPORT & BLOCK.
PHOTO VICTIM - "Do not confront the owner of the pictures, as they are victims themselves! You will only serve to further the terror and harm !" Silence Is Golden!!! I speak Polish.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Julia2016 » Wed Aug 29, 2018 2:05 pm

Hi,
I’m sorry that it happened also to you.
Stop calling (and thinking about) yourself as being stupid. Would you call stupid a person who was robbed, for instance, in the street just because it happened that he/she had been there? – certainly not! You can call stupid a person who knows that he/she talks to a scammer and with this knowledge willingly still pays him money. But this is not your case, so don’t call yourself “stupid”, okay?
Don’t think about ending your life either. This is a trauma but you will survive. Like we all here. If you have nobody to talk to, I would advise you to just start reading all the sections here, like the Healing Process, the Victim Support or the Hula Girl’s scam diary. There you will find answers to many questions which you have now and will have in future, and this will also help you to a) understand why you should immediately cease any communication with them, b) find out what to do now, c) understand the whole situation of you being scammed, d) understand that you are NOT stupid, e) educate yourself and prevent from being scammed in future. When I was scammed, I read everything on this site, and it was of a very great help to me. Here we know how your feel because we were there too. Trust other victims-survivors here – there is life after. However, should all this advice in these sections turn out to be insufficient to you, maybe a counselling group could help ……. Take care.

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