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Re: No one here is stupid!

Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 8:37 pm
by VonSinister
A quote I like..."The best defense is not to offend". In other words, I am going to use another word or phrase in my post. Instead of "stupid", I prefer, "not smart". And I'm new in the forums, so I wanna be careful. But I see things like this. Scamming is a like business, albeit a corrupt business. But think of it similar to marketing. The scammers are marketing a false product in order to gain a return of some sort. In most cases, your hard earned money. These folks think they're downright clever. They will seek out the weak ones to prey on. Once they realize you're not weak, they will go away. Most, if not all these scammers have a psychological disorder termed sociopath or psychopath. More than likely sociopath. These people lie in order to reach a specific goal, and don't care who they hurt on the way.

I think this is a good website that can help to educate people of the dangers of online dating. I believe researching a topic and knowing your opponent(s) can make you a winner. So if you're "not smart" enough to realize that certain people and websites are out to trick you into opening your wallet for them, then you deserve to get ripped off.

If there's any way I can help anyone in this forum, don't hesitate to ask. :)

VonSinister
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Re: No one here is stupid!

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 6:13 am
by The Wild Geese
VonSinister wrote
So if you're "not smart" enough to realize that certain people and websites are out to trick you into opening your wallet for them, then you deserve to get ripped off.

Now I think you are breaking one RS rule!
When we say nobody! We mean nobody! :evil:
Nobody! Especially the not smart one you call!
Just take it as an example. Do you think the old and the weak deserve to be robbed when they are in the street because they are weak and old? What they deserve is protection and this is what the scambaiters are doing. To spread the words that scammers are out there. Still many out there haven't heard about romance scammers and they need the guidance and protection.
Keep up your good work but never, never say that there are people who deserve to get ripped off no matther who they are! :evil:

Re: No one here is stupid!

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 6:23 am
by Pinky
I would suggest, VS, that you read here a lot more than you already have, to get a better idea of what we are about. We don't deal with ordinary consumer fraud and online money scams. Most of our members were not looking for get rich quick schemes. Romance scams are emotional rape and robbery. Victims are not stupid and their only fault is that they were not aware such scams existed. Please don't post anymore of your uneducated insinuations regarding the intellect of people you don't fully understand.

Re: No one here is stupid!

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 8:12 am
by VonSinister
Allow me to clarify. When I said "weak" I didn't mean physically. And I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone or piss on anyone's situation, and if I did, please accept my apology. No one deserves to be ripped off, that's true. However, when my team is down and seemingly out. I will be the last one they can come to for a warm glass of milk and cookies. I prefer the, "let's get up and go kick some butt" approach.

I do understand the emotional side of things, but "not aware" that such scams existed? Hello.....since when did a little research and self educating into such a serious endeavor and potentually dangerous thing like online dating kill anyone? After 2 years of not dating at all, (for a variety of reasons) I decide to try something different...ONLINE DATING. So before I jump right into the frying pan and get burned, I'm going to learn about what I'm up against. I educate myself by coming to this website and reading up on some of the posted stuff you all have provided for my education. And trust me, I checked out more than a few sites similar to this one. I decided this was a good place after realizing the amount of time and effort Wayne and Frumpy put into this place, not to mention the members and what you all have been through.

I appreciate your replies, and do know that if I got into this whole online dating thing without reading your stories, posts and comments first, I might have been "not aware" that such scams existed, then got myself ripped off and would have ended up emotionally raped. But because some of you fell down and got hurt, in a manner of speaking, and I was smart enough to look into the how and why part of it, those things I can be aware of. It's called being proactive.

Again, sorry if I ruffled some feathers and thank you for bringing this to my attention. Don't forget, I'm on your side
VonSinister

Re: No one here is stupid!

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 9:10 am
by Ralph Warner
Pro active is good, its something I like to encourage but unfortunately people are not normally proactive until educated to be so, unfortunately it usually occurs after seeing the misfortunes of others or themselves first.

Trusting is a trait that can be considered a good thing as well, without some level of trust we would all lock ourselves in our houses and never leave them, we would not use the internet to meet people or to discuss our concerns or problems and we wouldn't be sharing our problems for others to learn and those we were trying to teach would not trust what they were told any way.

Stupidity or as you prefer "not smart", have you ever found that there is a skill you cant do, is there a musical instrument you cant play, is there a piece of machinery you cant use, is there a topic you are not so well versed on and does a person who does have one of those skills have the right to call you stupid or "not smart" because you do not have a complete understanding and knowledge on that topic.

I do agree, some scam victims may not be at the top of their class, in fact, many scammers do target people with disabilities, some victims are also extremely well educated but the fact they were scammed is not the defining event of their lives that defines their level of intelligence.

Many victims of scams do not share their stories for fear of being labeled as being stupid and if all of those "not Smart' people took that approach then there would be nothing to warn you of the dangers of being scammed and you yourself may have found yourself in a situation where you were equally not as smart

Re: No one here is stupid!

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 12:19 pm
by VonSinister
Educating yourself is being proactive. Taking precautions by educating yourself is also being proactive. I don't think it's the other way around...correct me if I'm wrong on what proactive is. I thinks it's all one word too. Opps, that's a typo...sorry, I'm not immune to those things either.

FYI, it's also an acne treatment therapy system. :D

Not tryin to be a smarty pants. Maybe I'm not typing things out clearly, or perhaps they are out of context, or maybe I'm not able to communicate on the same level with folks from different countries, or could be I need english remediation 101.

Have a great day ya'll, I'm off to see the wizard.

VonSinister

Re: No one here is stupid!

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 1:11 pm
by The Wild Geese
@VonSinister,
Now you bring the subject about educating. My question is, have you ever come across the subject in Pedagogy? You have to select strategies to match your student needs? If you don't then your teaching is doomed to to fail. If most of your students fails, then the big failure here is the teacher. This is how RS scambaiters, mods and admin works. They are not authoritarian. They practice the art of Pedagogy. Education earned through RS is an education embedded in your heart and mind. Yes, English is not my first language but I can understand you pretty well and I do read and write many other languages as well.

Re: No one here is stupid!

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:22 pm
by stupidlyscammed
Dear all,
I admire and salute clever people with good command of English and able to convey intelligent messages to the masses. But I think the matter at hand is to ensure that people can avoid being scammed through dissemination of information and to report or if possible eradicate scamming activities. And that here in this site, victims like me, can come together to make a difference...no matter how small...Isn't it? :oops:

Re: No one here is stupid!

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:30 pm
by Ralph Warner
Hi OnceBittentwicescorn and welcome

It is quite late here and I need to get to bed but just quickly, if you could go to our pending section and post as much as you can about the person you think is scamming you then we can tell you a lot more.

Our FAQ has a lot of good advice as well and I urge you to read the relevant parts of that as well.

The simple scam test that anybody can do, has he asked you for money?, if so, YES, he is a scammer, if not, he may be a real person or he may be a scammer who hasn't yet asked you for money, either way, it is extremely rare for somebody to come here and ask about a person who ends up NOT being a scammer, post the details and we can help you

Re: No one here is stupid!

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 3:54 pm
by RSfan
I have never used the word "stupid" to describe myself so much as I have in the past 10 days. I feel like the biggest idiot. I am not recovering very well emotionally. In fact, I am not recovering hardly at all. My life is now on "hold"....suspended in outer cyber space. The emotional violation has paralyzed me in every way. No one in my family and none of my friends understand. My life seems to have fallen apart. I am having trouble with basic requirements of life....such as doing my real day job!

My scammer stole my heart....and I willing let him do it. And I feel so stupid!! :heartbroken:

After 10 days, I now realize that I truly need victim recovery support and am reaching out to many of you privately...thank you to my new "friends" here....you are life savers. But even that is not enough. Like I said, paralyzed with sadness. Hating myself for being so BLIND and letting scammer steal my life.

Re: No one here is stupid!

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 5:39 pm
by Pinky
Boomer, don't rule out professional counseling. Many people here have received help from a therapist. We are not therapists, rather your online support group. And, if you haven't already, I invite you to read here: http://www.romancescam.com/forum/viewto ... 22&t=13396" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;. Lots of members have contributed different things that have helped them through the tough times. Everyone heals differently. I know you must give yourself all the time you need. There's no fast and easy answer.

Re: No one here is stupid!

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 5:54 pm
by RSfan
Pinky -
I am without money to get professional help, but also I think that I am just having an especially bad day today. I am so much better than I was a week ago, and when I use my brain, I realize that I will be ten-fold better a week from now....and, like you said, "time heals all wounds". Sometimes, I am too hard on myself, and I will read the info on the link you provided. I will read all of this "thread", too. This web site is a true salvation, but I also realize that I must save myself in the end. Thank you for your kindness. I am going to be better.....I know it. My heart is stronger than I realize sometimes. Tomorrow will be a better day... :applause:

Re: No one here is stupid!

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 5:58 pm
by naive22
@ anniesdogs

Annie - dont feel bad! I work in advertising and only because of this I saw a fake image FEDEX notification this morning.

This happens to be the day I got scammed.

That asshole is also on Jdate UK and tried it on with me but I told him I hated the military. So do not feel alone.

The good news is I lived in India and believe me - Karma is a bitch when it comes around.

Re: No one here is stupid!

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 6:27 pm
by wayne
So if you're "not smart" enough to realize that certain people and websites are out to trick you into opening your wallet for them, then you deserve to get ripped off.
With that mindframe I can tell you now that you're not going to last long here.

Re: No one here is stupid!

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 9:19 pm
by VonSinister
First of all I should make a public announcement to the people's of this site. I have been quoted several times thus far and seems I made a mistake. I did not mean to offend anyone here. I am not above making a public apology.

And for BoomerAngel.......Keep your chin up. I know it's easier said than done sometimes. I hope things will get better for you.

VonSinister ;)