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I think I might be involved with a scammer from Facebook

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Pinky
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Re: I think I might be involved with a scammer from Facebook

Postby Pinky » Thu Nov 17, 2011 6:23 pm

I was going to tell him off but instead I just pulled the plug this morning with no explaination.
I think this is the best revenge. You were most likely chatting with a few different guys the whole time but didn't notice because you weren't looking for it. Now all the guys are left wondering what went wrong and who did it. Let's hope they start blaming each other. But the best thing is that they are left empty handed and clueless. :twisted:
I am bracing for him finding my phone number and calling or trying to email me. I'm glad he is blocked on FB and can't chat with me.
He might not. They can't always archive their chats because they use different computers. In scamworld that's the same as leaving your best customer's information out for your competition to have access too.
I really just want to put this behind me as fast as possilbe. I am not longer sad. Now I am mad.
Mad is one of the stages. Use it to see you through any sad and lonely times that may come back to visit. You can always find a scammer or two somewhere to torment. Their jobs should not be easy.
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.

Re: I think I might be involved with a scammer from Facebook

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Re: I think I might be involved with a scammer from Facebook

Postby FrumpyBB » Thu Nov 17, 2011 6:35 pm

... him finding my phone number and calling or trying to email me.
Well, honestly speaking, he is quite likely to try either or both to get you back. As Nigerians often do, either in the form of 20+ attempted calls a day or many emails or left chat messages, or in the form of a recovery scam (see many examples in More419s topics in Other Types of Africam Scams section here).
Ignore any of them or he will never go away. He will only go away if no single communication attempt by him is successful. Even shouting at him would be "successful" from scammers´ POVs, so just ignore and hang up and never reply anything that comes from him. Scammers can be quite persistent so just be prepared that "ignore" might be easier said than done but it´s the only way now.
Please try your best to block ALL your scammer´s still incoming messages and calls!

What is all this? => The FAQ

The scammers vs. Why is "he" still doing it?

Why is alerting the man in the pictures DANGEROUS?

Please click why confronting my scammer is terribly wrong :)

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Re: I think I might be involved with a scammer from Facebook

Postby bflgurl » Fri Nov 18, 2011 3:56 pm

OK, I made a big mistake and confronted him. I was so angry and hurt yesterday that I just wanted to see what he had to say for himself. Do not worry, he knows nothing about this website. He thought I hired investigators and had him checked out. He is extremely upset. I chatted with him for 3 hours. And, I just read the chat and I am looking at it and he is writing to me with very few grammatical errors and I am feeling, what did I do? What if he is being sincere? I did not get specific with him about any facts. I did mention his story is common. And, I did talk to him about his wanting me to be on a webcam.

I am so exhausted by all of this. He really wants to talk to my investigators to clear his name. He wants contact info.

I now wish I would not have confronted him and just walked away. But, I just felt so betrayed by him and knew that if I did not say anything to him it would be harder for me to have closure. Right now, I am just numb, not really knowing what to believe.

firefly


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Re: I think I might be involved with a scammer from Facebook

Postby firefly » Fri Nov 18, 2011 4:30 pm

bflgurl,
you can be sure about one thing: HIE LIE. No matter what he told you, not matter what he try to convince you, all are just lies. Please, ignore him. Erased him out from your list, block him and never talk with him again, for your own good. You dont need more pain. All that you need right now is time to move forward with your life. And talking with one scammer sure dont help...
Read some posts from http://www.romancescam.com/forum/viewto ... 22&t=13396" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; about the healing process, or maybe the Scam Survivor's Handbook - you can find one PDF on http://romancescambaiter.com/rstb.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;.
You are not alone. But it is up to you to regain your life back. Because, believe us, it is a life after the scam even if it will take a while until you will found it.
Take care of you and be very careful with your online contacts for the next period.

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Re: I think I might be involved with a scammer from Facebook

Postby bflgurl » Fri Nov 18, 2011 6:19 pm

Thanks, Firefly. I downloaded that ebook and read it.

I am exhausted. This has been so emotionally draining.

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Re: I think I might be involved with a scammer from Facebook

Postby FrumpyBB » Fri Nov 18, 2011 6:23 pm

OK, I made a big mistake and confronted him.
:roll:
Please try your best to block ALL your scammer´s still incoming messages and calls!

What is all this? => The FAQ

The scammers vs. Why is "he" still doing it?

Why is alerting the man in the pictures DANGEROUS?

Please click why confronting my scammer is terribly wrong :)

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Re: I think I might be involved with a scammer from Facebook

Postby Pinky » Fri Nov 18, 2011 9:58 pm

OK, I made a big mistake and confronted him.
This is why we ask you to CEASE ALL CONTACT! They are good at what they do. It is not unusual for emotionally fragile victims to get sucked back in.

Perfect spelling? So what! IT IS A SCAMMER. You've just been passed over to the oga who is a bit better educated. They still have hope they can suck you in - and it looks like they're right.
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.

wayne


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Re: I think I might be involved with a scammer from Facebook

Postby wayne » Sat Nov 19, 2011 1:08 am

What next, the "Yes, I was trying to scam you at the start, but I really did fall in love with you" bullshit line that hooks them back in and gets them to send even more money? Why do people come here, ask for help and then ignore what we tell them? We have YEARS of experience between us - more than double the 15 years someone mentioned earlier - and yet people insist on completely brushing off what we tell them and going ahead and doing what they want to do anyway. Why? Do you think we say these things for fun, or just to piss people off? We do it because we KNOW how the scammers work. We've dealt with thousands of the bastards in our time. Yet people still think they know better than us for some reason. Unbelievable!!

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Re: I think I might be involved with a scammer from Facebook

Postby bflgurl » Sat Nov 19, 2011 1:22 am

Trust me I listened to your advice but in the end I needed to go with what felt right for me. I am looking for closure so I can move on from this as quickly as possible. I do not want to get sucked back in. Maybe I was wrong in confronting him. But, honestly I feel better now that I did. I was very careful to not give away any details. I let him believe that I had hired my own investigators.

I turned to this website for help. I am too embarassed to discuss this with family and friends. I know that you are not pleased I confronted him. But, please beating me up over it is not helpful. It is nothing personal against you or your experience. For me it was best to get educated, which I feel I have, and make a decision that is right for me.

I have no intention of ever talking to this scammer again. I got what I needed out of our last chat.

I did not have to say anything about the fact that I contacted him. I could have kept it to myself. But, I didn't. Sorry that you are disappointed.

wayne


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Re: I think I might be involved with a scammer from Facebook

Postby wayne » Sat Nov 19, 2011 1:41 am

The problem is, we've seen it before. People get sucked back in. They don't intend to. In fact, they tell us there's no way they'll ever get caught again. Then we see them come back and claim he's real and that they want all the stuff they posted deleted as none of it is true. It got so bad we had to stop people from being able to alter their posts after 60 minutes. This is the reality we face every single day here. Yes we're disappointed, but not because you decided to ignore us. Because we've seen this end badly too many times in the past and will all now be on edge worrying that it'll happen again. Dropping a scammer cold is always the best option as it takes away the danger of being sucked back in or threatened by the scammer. It also stops them from looking at what they did wrong and learning to be a better scammer for the next person that comes along. As I say, this is all from experience. You've dealt with your one scammer. We've dealt with thousands over the years.

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Re: I think I might be involved with a scammer from Facebook

Postby Pinky » Sat Nov 19, 2011 2:06 am

And, I just read the chat and I am looking at it and he is writing to me with very few grammatical errors and I am feeling, what did I do? What if he is being sincere?
I have to tell ya, I honestly wished I could come beat you over the head for that. You let him in to plant seeds of doubt. It's disrespectful for what we do here - of our own free will, on our own free time. Oh, I forgot to mention for FREE.

We have NEVER made a mistake and trashed some sincere, real person's romance.
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.

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Re: I think I might be involved with a scammer from Facebook

Postby bflgurl » Sat Nov 19, 2011 2:20 am

I do understand, Wayne. Don't worry I do not want you to delete anything I posted about him. I believe he is a scammer. Last night he was so driven to clear his name and prove his innocence. He wanted to have a conference call chat with me, my investigators and him. I did not give him any contact info so he said he would get it from me today. Funny, he hasn't followed up on it.

The 3-hour chat I went through with him was probably the most grueling experience I have ever had with anybody. It was such a mental tug-a-war. And, I am pretty tough. Yes, I got my closure but I am emotionally exhausted.

I have no interest in having anything further to do with him. If he wasn't a scammer, I was starting to feel like he was a psycho. He told me last night that he was planning to take my Facebook profile picture and make it his profile picture until he came home to me. That freaked me out. I don't want my photo on this scammer's FB profile.

Anyway, thank you for your site and your assistance. Sorry I did not listen to you about confronting him but I can say now that everyone else should just follow your advice. The mental/emotional tug a war will make you feel that you have just been captured by the enemy. I sure got closure.

SlapHappy


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Re: I think I might be involved with a scammer from Facebook

Postby SlapHappy » Sat Nov 19, 2011 5:26 am

If he wasn't a scammer, I was starting to feel like he was a psycho. He told me last night that he was planning to take my Facebook profile picture and make it his profile picture until he came home to me. That freaked me out. I don't want my photo on this scammer's FB profile.
Ok, bflgurl. "If he wasn't a scammer," shows that you STILL have doubts that he is not! Do you see what he is still doing to you? And now his threats of using your profile picture and using for his own. He's trying to blackmail you, and keep his hold on you, and got you "freaked out" and yet another emotional response from you. This is EXACTLY the kind of thing that we do not want to have a victim go through, especially as for an unnecessary bullshit "closure" issue that you insist on having. Your "closure" is only a rationalization for continuing to talk to this SCAMMER, plain as day.
The only way that you will have true closure is by stopping all contact, ignoring him, not visiting his scamming FB profile, "just to see if he did change it," etc. Please stop contact now. It's time to face the true facts, and deal with the fallout that this guy has caused you. Please re-read the Survivor's Handbook. Also, seek help in Victim Support forum. You need to stop and begin to move on. There are members there you can talk to, to look ahead, protect yourself, heal your emotions, and live a normal existence again. We are running out of breath here on this thread. It's time for you to put this behind you completely, so you can heal, ok?

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Re: I think I might be involved with a scammer from Facebook

Postby scallywag » Sat Nov 19, 2011 11:17 am

Hi bfgurl,

I thought I would like to write a little piece from myself as a previous victim of a scammer. Firstly please take on board everything what the Mods here write and say about scammers. I can honestly vouch they know just about everything a scammer does to keep their victims on their 'Work-list'..because that is all you really are to these scammers. You are their Pay-Day! And I only want you to be saved from further emotional abuse from this gang. They usually work for an 'Oga' (Boss Man) he then has lads working for him in various different ways right down to a run-around boi who goes to the WU/Moneygram to collect victims money, thus no-one gets to know in reality who these men really are! I know you lost no money but you have lost your trust and confidence and you have been emotionally abused. I understand that I truly do.

I lost over £15.000 to a gang of scammers both in Nigeria and here in the UK (all the same gang I may hasten to say). I actually met in person 3 of the gang..BIG MISTAKE! Trust me!! I would NEVER recommend anyone to do that. I am a lucky survivor and I now support RS by helping victims gain more knowledge of this wicked crime via the Media. My scammer scammed me over a course of 3 years bfgurl, because the amount of lies and excuses that was told to me. He even 'owned up to me' who he truly was, and then did web-cam with me on the odd occasion but it was always always knowing he could make me 'believe him'!

They are 'testing you' knowing you may 'weaken', as what the others have said, looks like they are winning you over, because sub-consciously you still want to 'believe' him/them! Please from the bottom of my heart stay strong, read everything here, and learn from your bad experience. Turn it around to positivity. 'Bounce' their negative energy back at them. Curse them (they hate that), but the best advice from me to you really is..stop all contact/ignore/delete/block them..otherwise they will persist...like a 'leech' looking for blood..they are 'vampire's' looking for blood money.

Go on a healing journey..pamper yourself..and look to the real world around you. I know you are embarressed to tell your family. I went through that too..but 3 years on..they now know what happened and it truly was not as bad as I first thought, especially from my mum whom I borrowed money from to feed this gang without her knowledge of course at the time. Listen to my story in the RS podcast (under Scallywag) listen to what I went through!! You have family here who will listen and help you but please...stop all contact..he will only win over you again...

Take care..Godbless - scallywag :)

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Re: I think I might be involved with a scammer from Facebook

Postby bflgurl » Sat Nov 19, 2011 7:26 pm

Thanks, Scallywag. I appreiate your post. And, also the one's from all of you. I know you are only looking out for my best interest.

I have no plans to stay in contact with him. I'm done. I know without a shadow of a doubt he is a scammer. I am putting this behind me.

I did end up telling my Mother about it and she was supportive.

I think I was just soooooo tired/exhausted from the whole ordeal of coming here, exposing him, confronting him . . . that I was not really thinking straight.

In some ways, this whole thing was a good thing for me to go through. I recently ended a relationship with someone "real" and was thinking of doing online dating. So, I had no idea that this whole romance scam stuff was going on out there. Now I know and will be able to spot these SOB's pretty quickly.

Thanks again for all your support.

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