Postby KSTerri » Sun Feb 10, 2013 8:41 am
Pfft . . . nobody here is stupid. I know I'm not stupid, but I spent the last 36 hours exchanging texts with one scammer and emails with another. Yes, a two-fer.
And, I'm a lawyer.
Everyone made the leap of faith required for computer dating. Heck, one of my friends met her husband on match and another says three of her friends have. I can name a half-dozen friends who have dated on match casually and seriously. I've been divorced for 3 years and am fine by myself. So, I thought, "what the heck."
That was a week ago. And suddenly you're swarmed with winks and IMs and there's a half dozen men trying to get you onto Yahoo! IM (Luckily I avoided that. I had an identity theft issue with Yahoo! and will never set foot there again). And then a couple of ridiculously attractive men are giving you the electronic equivalent of "can you believe this place, c'mon, let's get out of here," and you follow. You are in no physical danger. You are in your own office or living room. And, hey, it's just talk. What could the harm be?
The emails are a bit garbled, but the message is so compelling. You just think he is a bad typist. Yeah, I had a couple of warning bells go off, but, hey, it's just talk. Right? I even showed a couple of the pics to my best friend and she encouraged me. I have dated some fine looking men in my day and my ex-husband was a show-stopper. So, handsome men being interested in me was not out of line.
Then the texts. Silly romantic texts that make your heart leap whenever your phone blips. Your best friend is teasing you a bit about when you are going to meet this romeo in person. You start to think about it. . . .
Now, for me, this all happened inside 36 hours. All I lost was a Saturday. Something tripped a trigger in my head and I did my google-fu and found this site. I got on the net research hard and confirmed all the little fears I had had. I pushed my texting scammer a bit and we have a "date" for lunch tomorrow in a major city that is halfway between us. I am sure in the morning I will get a notice about something horrid that has happened to him and he can't make it. Whatever.
Now, I lost nothing but a day, a thin layer of pride, a couple of emotional and honest emails, and some innocence. When I go back into the dating pool, it will be with a cynical eye. Now, every man is a scammer until he proves otherwise. Only first names, a separate email account just for correspondence, and a lot more cynicism. That is actually sad, but it is the way of things.
You are only a victim if you feel like one. I don't. Every day you are hurt is a day they win. Don't let the little jerkwads win. Take your power back. And be a lot more careful about relinquishing it again. I will be checking this site regularly, seeing if my scammers pop up again. I've been to Nigeria. At least at the end of the day I know I am not living in that slimepit. And that is a win.
Take care and stay safe!